The way in which we live and work has changed significantly and many are suggesting that this change may be permanent. Whilst many businesses and organisations had already introduced flexible working practices for their employees, COVID-19 has taken this to a whole new level and certainly on a much larger scale.

For me, these changes have been even more pronounced. At the same time as we have seen the way in which we live and work shift so dramatically, I have left full-time employment to follow my passion and establish my own coaching business, apogee lead succeed. Like many of you, I have had to adjust to this new “normal” incredibly quickly. The boundaries between work and life that were previously more pronounced, are now much harder to distinguish. I decided to take a moment, step back and re-evaluate what this new way of working and living means for me, my family, my effectiveness and my well-being.

Not that long ago, on any given weekday, our household would wake up and launch into the daily routine of getting everyone dressed, fed, organised and out the door, ready to start their day… separately. As those with families will appreciate, this morning routine can be frantic and sometimes stressful… “get out of bed”… “hurry up, you’re going to miss the bus!”… “what do you want for lunch?”… and of course, “stop watching that iPad!!!”, were all familiar cries. However, there was an end to this morning madness and eventually we all went our separate ways. This is no longer the case. At the same time as I have started working for myself and spending more time at home, the lives of my wife and children have also been turned upside down and we find that many of these separate daily phases and routines have blurred into one another, as we are surrounded by each other - working, studying and living together… all day, every day. Now don’t get me wrong, I love my family and I have enjoyed seeing a lot more of my children, but the routines we all came to rely upon and that provided an opportunity for some separation, social interaction and that enabled each of us to focus on other pursuits that held meaning and purpose for us, have been swiftly taken away. This has prompted me to think about how I need to adjust and what I need to do differently to remain effective and meet my obligations to the various aspects of my work and my life.

Just as the morning routine had a beginning and end, there were many other phases and activities that made up a normal day. Before these changes, if I had a tough day at work, the drive home was a way of leaving that part of me behind and switching back into “Dad” or “Husband” mode during the time it took to get home, so that I could enjoy my time with my family. These patterns were taken for granted and I didn’t realise just how important they were to me in being able to juggle the demands and wear the different hats that I needed to wear, to meet the obligations of my work and my life.

It’s been interesting to observe the impact these enforced changes have had on my wife and children and how they had become accustomed to living their lives. My eldest daughter is/was attending boarding school and I have seen her struggle to adjust to home schooling and the absence of the structure and study disciplines that she was accustomed to, has made it harder for her to maintain her focus. My wife is very outgoing and craves social interaction. Attending work for her is as much about the social interaction and the friendships she has with her colleagues as it is about the work she does. For her, this period of separation and isolation has been particularly challenging. I suspect this would be the case for thousands of others like her and I don’t think we should underestimate just how difficult this period has been and the impact this may have on the happiness, self-esteem and overall mental health of a significant proportion of the workforce and our community.

So what to do? Is this just a temporary situation that will come to an end and our lives will eventually return to how they once were? Or is this the start of a new way of working and living that will never see us completely return to the way things used to be?

Personally, I think it is likely to be closer to the latter. Although the speed of this change has been forced upon us as a result of this pandemic, there has been some noticeable “silver linings” that have come from this period change. Whilst we should not forget that numerous businesses are suffering and many may not survive, at the same time it has been quite uplifting to see how many others have been able to pull together and adapt to these changes and find ways to survive and in some cases, thrive.

Changes to how we work

Several businesses have introduced more flexible and remote working practices that have enabled them to continue to operate effectively. Many of these changes such as as working from home, staggered or more flexible working hours, more part-time work, reduced business travel and less commuting, may prove significantly beneficial to many businesses and individuals. The reduced need for office space and infrastructure, reduced travel costs, improved flexibility and equitable work practices for women, primary carers, single parents and those with a disability (estimated to be 1 in 5 of all Australians) and environmental benefits from reduced business travel and commuting, are just some of the positives that may come from this crisis. Flexible, family-friendly working practices may become an even stronger attraction and retention tool for many organisations in the war for talent, fostering stronger employee engagement, organisational commitment and ultimately producing happier and more productive employees.

These new ways of working may prove to be particularly beneficial for some specific individuals and organisations. According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, single-parent families are expected to be the fastest growing family type over the next 20 years, with single-male-parent families projected to grow the fastest of any family type, increasing by as much as 65% by 2041. Not having to go to an office building, no requirement to travel for business and no such thing as “9 to 5”, could be an absolute blessing for such family types and may lead to better employment prospects and eventually improvements in underemployment/full employment, economic growth and productivity.

Regionally-based professional services businesses offering marketing, IT, business advisory/consulting or coaching services like mine, could also benefit from these new ways of working. Such providers and businesses connecting and conducting business via Zoom, telephone and other remote practices may well become the norm, effectively eliminating geographical borders and significantly reducing overheads such as travel, accommodation etc.

However, the realisation of many of these benefits comes back to the main focus in this blog and what I have found challenging during this period of change - setting boundaries. If this way of living and working is going to become the norm, then many of us will need to reassess how we better regulate the boundaries between our work and private lives, to ensure our own well-being, productivity, effectiveness and happiness.

The following is a list of simple tips and boundaries that are working for me and may prove useful to you.

Physically leave for work

For me the physical act of going to work is still important. It helps me make the mental shift from “family Adam” to “work Adam” and focus on what I need to do and what I want to achieve in order to be successful. It also helps my family distinguish between when I am “at work” and when I am not, taking some of the guess work out of what I am doing and if I am available for whatever they need. Case in point:

My Wife: “Adam, can you paint the rest of that wall today?”

Me: “I can… but not right now.”

Wife: “It will only take 30 minutes.”

Me: “OK, but I’m kinda working right now - I will do it later.”

Wife: “Hmmmm.”

If I am able to separate myself to work, then this usually helps avoid such situations occurring. I am fortunate that I do have a separate office at home that I can go to when I leave for work, but sometimes it’s as simple as retreating to another room in the house, or even outside if it’s a nice day (word of advice, make sure there is not a paint brush near by).

Stick to a schedule

Even if it’s informal and not actually itemised (I’m not a “list” sort of person), I need to roughly know when I am clocking on, when I’m calling it quits and when I am going to take some time out. Without this structure it’s easy to become distracted or drift into other activities that I would prefer to be doing, rather than remaining focused on what I should be doing. I still schedule time for fun and doing the things I like, such as going for a run or catching up on the latest episode of a Netflix series I’m hooked on, but I need to make sure that I get the balance right and don’t just leave it to chance.

Take care of yourself

This is important. I’ve learned over the years to neglect this one at my own peril. I need to make and take the time to look after myself. Exercise, a massage, a visit to the chiropractor, time for my hobbies, or some physical exertion such as bush-walking/hiking, home maintenance or gardening. Making the time for these activities is crucial to my overall well-being. In the past I have felt guilty about making time for these activities when there is work to be done or I could be spending time with my family, but it always comes back to bite me if I don’t. Taking care of myself benefits my physical health, my mental health and it definitely benefits those around me! (read happier and less irritable). Staying on top of this one has been particularly challenging in the current environment with social isolation restrictions in place and the forced closure of many of the service providers that I regularly relied upon.

Find the time to do nothing

I love this one. The best way for me to experience this is by being outside in nature. I get this from “going bush” but I also just like taking the time to think, meditate or simply sit outside on a chair with the fire-pit in front of me and my dog beside me… doing absolutely nothing. My wife, being an extrovert finds this one a bit odd, but I am often the most productive when I am doing nothing. I know that sounds strange, but I often have my best thoughts and come up with all sorts of plans and ideas for what I need to do, what I need to change, or how I can overcome a particular challenge when I have the time to be alone with my thoughts.

Get some sleep

This one is critical and shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone - countless research studies have confirmed that good sleep will help you function better and live longer. Now, I need to come clean here. Historically, this one has been a real challenge for me. People who know me well or have worked closely with me will be smiling at this point. This comes back to the statement above regarding self-care and how I have learned to neglect this at my own peril. I have not been a good sleeper for more years than I can remember. My mind is very active and I think a lot. I also carry a lot of tension in my body, hence the massages and trips to the chiropractor. If I don’t find ways to exert my mind and my body I have real trouble sleeping - it’s that simple. If it goes on for too long, my health suffers - both physically and mentally. That’s why self-care, making the time to be alone to think a lot and exercise my mind, and pushing myself physically, are so important to me, my sleep and my health.

Interestingly, since I have left full time employment to follow my dream and made more time for me, I have slept better than I have in years.

Find someone to talk to

Change is uncomfortable and challenging, but there are ways to make it less difficult. Having a partner, friend, counsellor, confidante, or a coach that you can talk to and that can help you rationalise and work through whatever is happening for you in your busy life, can be extremely beneficial. For me (funnily enough), it’s been working with a coach. Because I think a lot, sometimes I have a lot going on in my mind and my coach helps me pinpoint the larger issues or factors that I want to focus on and identify ways to approach them. Sometimes this has helped me identify repeating patterns and behaviours that are not working for me and other times it has helped me realise that I have unrecognised strengths that I can utilise to help me overcome the challenges I am facing. Hey, I wouldn’t have left full-time employment to start up my own business if I didn’t believe it would make a real difference in people’s lives.

Regardless of how far the way in which work may have permanently shifted, I think it’s fairly safe to suggest that we will not completely return to how things were before. How well we adjust, set boundaries and take care of ourselves and each other, will determine how successfully we manage these changes. You may already employ some of the tips and techniques that I use to better manage the boundaries of working from home, or perhaps you have your own that work best for you. If you don’t, I think it’s important to take the time and think about what is working well and what is proving difficult, so that you can make the necessary adjustments to improve your overall effectiveness and happiness.

If you would like to share your tips or thoughts on this topic I would love to hear them, or drop me a line if you think I might be able to help you and your people navigate and succeed in these challenging times.